Loneliness Hurts
by xXxXMomoXxXx
Summary: Joutei is the second Lieutenant of squad 3 that is troubled when her best friend is put up for execution and ryoka invade the soul society. Now strange things happen with her friends and captains and the man she's in love with acts strangely. Repost!
1. Chapter 1

**Momo: Okay, I know when I tried this the first time, it SUUUCKED badly. I'm going to repost with better detail and all that good stuff. I hope to god this is better and at least gets one freaking review, unlike last time.**

* * *

**Prologue**

It didn't take a genius to figure out I lived in the bad part of the rukon. It could be worse, but it was bad enough. My name is Joutei Usagi, I'm a child trying to survive by stealing food. Lot of good that did me, I'm so clumsy I would always trip and I'm either caught and beaten, or lose the food and run for it. My life was like that until I met Rukia. I was running away from an old man I stole some watermelon from. He almost caught me until I saw a raven-haired girl around my age trip him. I stood there and gaped at her while she got up. "What are you doing? RUN!" she yelled as she grabbed my wrist and dragged us both to safety. We became close friends after that.

A week after that though, I met him.... "You see those boys running away from that jerk Joutei?" Rukia asked. "Uh-huh." I answered. "I'm going to trip them, then you lead them somewhere safe, okay?" she planned carefully. I nodded and ran to the clearing where the boys were running. Sure enough, Rukia came in, tripped him, and stomped his face into the ground.

While they stared at her, I ran up to the first boy I saw, the one running in front with red hair. I lightly tugged on his arm, earning his attention. "Who the hell are you?" he asked rudely. "Follow me." I said as I ran away from the man. They looked at me strangely, but followed me after Rukia yelled at them. I want to be like her. I wanted to be tough and brave. I'm spineless and shy.

We ran until we arrived at a small hut, where the red head and his friends lived. Since we saved him and his friends, he invited us in and allowed us to eat what very little they had. We were up on the offer until some older kid took a little kids bag of candy. Rukia tackled him to the ground and gave him a lecture. She gave the little kid her candy and walked out. "Come on Joutei." she called. I put my bag of candy that I was given down, bowed in respect, and ran after Rukia, who was sitting in a tree.

"I can't believe that jerk." she muttered. "Who could do that to a small child?" I asked. "I hate people like him." she mumbled. I sighed and looked down to see that red head calling for us even though he didn't know our names. "Man you're weird." Rukia said teasingly. "You're the weird one!" te red head argued with a blush on his face. I started laughing a little, he had a short temper. "So, what's your name?" Rukia asked. The red head pointed to himself with a goofy smile. "My name is Renji." he introduced. "What about you two?" he asked.

"I'm Rukia."she introduced. She then nudged me in the side, urging me to speak. "My name is Joutei." I mumbled. "Well Rukia, Joutei, you're both welcome to stay." he announced. Rukia smiled at me and I knew exactly what she was thinking: someone had accepted us.

Over the years though, it wasn't as nice. All our friends died, leaving Renji, Rukia, and I alone, with nothing to live for. We were visiting the three graves, mourning their deaths silently until Rukia spoke up. "Lets become shinigami." she said. Renji and I gaped at her, was she serious!? "Rukia, the soul society is full of rich snobs, what will we amount to?" I asked. "We'll prove it to them!" she exclaimed, making me flinch. "There's nothing else for us here in this depressing town." Rukia mumbled. Renji and I looked t eachother and nodded. "Yeah, lets become shinigami." Renji agreed.

We enrolled later on, but the bad news was that we didn't have enough money to enroll me yet. I could join next year though. "Don't worry Jou, will visit you as much as possible." Renji assured. I smiled at him and Rukia. "Kick some rich snob ass." I cheered. Over the years, being around Renji have me quite a mouth, temper, and stopped me from being so shy. I held them to their promise and waited for them everyday, but unfortunately for me, they never visited.

It was like they had forgotten me, I was hurt. At one point, I was chased by men and almost raped. I closed my eyes and screamed as one man pinned me down and started removing my clothes. I felt it get cold and when I opened my eyes, everything, including the men, was frozen in solid ice. I needed to get to that academy in order to control my power, not to see my so-called friends who forgot about me.

A year later, I scratched up the money to enroll myself into the academy. For some reason, I started off in the advanced classes. I walked over and sat in my seat, ignoring the stares from all the rich kids. Sure enough, Renji walked in and noticed me right away. "Joutei! You're finally here!" he exclaimed happily. I glared at him and said nothing. He got a confused look on his face. "Jou, what's wrong?" he asked. I held my icy glare until our sensei came into the room and silenced all of us.

Later on, we had kido practice. Everyone in class thought I was a freak because I hadn't spoken at all. I had no reason to speak to anyone. It was my turn and I was placed by Renji, ironically. I glared at him, mumbled the incantation as quietly as I could, and shot the spell, earning me an almost perfect bulls-eye. Renji's eye twitched and he tried to shoot at the target, but it backfired and exploded.I landed on my ass, singed up from the blast, but started giggling after seeing Renji singed up worse than me with smoke coming off of him and out of his mouth in smoke rings.

Then we had combat practice and I had to fight with this very short girl who had her hair in a pony tail. She put her hand out and smiled sincerely. "My name is Momo Hinamori." she introduced kindly. I stared at her strangely, she wasn't from the poor part of the Rukon, but she was kind. I nodded and shook her hand. After that, I jumped back and waited for her to attack. She stared at me with a confused look. I smirked, stuck my hand out, and beckoned her to attack.

She nodded and ran towards me as fast as she could. I brought my wooden sword up and deflected hers, surprising her. I pushed upwards and swung my sword down quick and hard, making it dificult for her to deflect. I disarmed her and struck her to the ground, claiming me as the winner of the spar. She sat on the ground and rubbed her wrist, wincing a little. I walked up to her and offered to help her up my sticking my hand out. "Thank you." she chirped as she took my hand. I nodded and walked outside.

Some time later, we were going to the human world to fight dummy hollows. I was matched up with Momo, Izuru, and to my annoyance, Renji. He still tried to talk to me, but I was still mad at him and Rukia. I loved them dearly, but after what I went through and after the promise they never made, I was a bit pissed off.

We arrived in the world of the living and took down the dummy hollows with ease. "I think that's all of them, lets head back." Izuru said. We nodded and started to follow him until I felt a hand on my shoulder that pulled me back. I turned around and saw Renji staring down at me. "Joutei, why are you mad at me and Rukia?" he asked. I glared at him and opened my mouth to speak for the first time in a few months.

"You both broke your promise. You never came back to see me. I was almost raped Renji! Do you know how bad I wanted to see you guys!? I could understand if you only came to see me once because you were so busy, but you never came at all!" I yelled. Renji stared at me with a look of hurt on his face. My face showed nothing but anger, just with tears streaming out of my eyes. He wrapped his arms around me an pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry. We were so busy, we thought you could make it on your own. We're such bad friends." he muttered.

I calmed down slightly. He felt so bad, he called himself and Rukia bad friends because they thought I was strong and because they were too busy. I sighed and hugged him back. "I forgive you both. I shouldn't be yelling." I assured. He pulled back and smiled. "We better catch up to Momo and Izuru before they start sending out a search party for us." he mumbled. "Are you kidding? With our hair who could miss us?" I asked. With Renji's bright red hair and my blue hair, you honestly couldn't miss us in a crowd.

We managed to catch up to Momo and Izuru. "Well, that wasn't too hard." Renji boasted. "I guess it wasn't" Izuru agreed. Suddenly, we heard an ear-piercing scream fill the air. "What the hell was that?" Renji asked. We ran towards the source of the scream and saw one of the six year students hanging from the claw of a real hollow. We gasped and stared in horror as another six year student ran towards the hollow and was killed. The only one left was Shuuhei Hisagi. "All of you freshman run!" he commanded.

Renji and Izuru ran the other direction with the other students scattered and ran away screaming while Momo and I stood there and stared. "Momo, Joutei lets go!" Izuru shouted. "We've got to help him!" Momo argued. "Hey, that thing just killed two six year students!" Renji argued. "I know." Momo muttered with a look of determination on her face. I knew what she was thinking. We both drew our swords and ran towards the hollow and Hisagi, making Renji and Izuru chase us.

Before the hollow could kill Hisagi, we blocked his claws. "What are you three doing!?" he yelled. "Sorry sir, but we had to help!" Izuru yelled. "You can yell at us later once we get out of this alive!" Renji shouted. All three pulled back and took turns saying the incantation for a kido spell. I was scared and still deflecting a claw, but I pulled my hands up just as they were reciting the end of the spell. "Shakkahou!" I shouted at the same time they did.

An enormous blast shot the hollow, but I could see Momo and Izuru's surprised faces. "Lets get the hell out of here!" I called as I ran along side Renji. Izuru helped Hisagi while he called for backup and Momo ran behind us. "What is a hollow doing over here!?" Renji asked. "I don't know, it must have hid it's spiritual pressure some how!" Hisagi answered. "No offence sir, but shouldn't they have a captain or a lieutenant around in case things like this happen!?" I asked frantically. "No, this has never happened before." he answered.

We ran into a clearing to catch our breath. "I think we lost him." Izuru breathed. "No, we pissed it iff because here comes some of it's friends!" I yelled as we were surrounded by several hollows. I stood in between Momo and Renji, gritting my teeth. I couldn't die this way, not now, not when I just forgave Renji and Rukia!

As the hollows were about to attack, a long sword flew through and killed a few. We turned to see Captain Aizen and Lieutenant Ichimaru walking up to us. "Sorry we're late, you're safe now." Aizen apologized as he pat Momo's head. "You seem scared. Don't worry, we'll protect you." Ichimaru said as he ruffled my hair.

We watched in awe as they took down the hollows without even trying. I smiled to myself. Ig there was one captain I'd like to work under, it was Ichimaru when he became a captain.

* * *

**Momo: That's basically Joutei's past, I hope someone out there enjoyed!**

**Joutei info**

**Hair: Blue**

**Eyes: Green**

**Personality: Short-tempered and kind, sometimes shy, very klutzy**


	2. Another ryoka problem

**Momo: Okay, my summary is not as it seems, so please keep reading. There are a few more OC's in the story and a few pairings I prefer, but anywho, please enjoy!**

* * *

I sighed as I carried the enormous stack of paperwork to the squad ten building. Why Captain Kuro gave me this much paperwork to deliver, I'll never know. That's right, squad three is ironically on it's THIRD captain. We've had Ichimaru, Amagai, and now we have Kuro. Kuro Arashiwas tall with black spiky hair and blue eyes. He was a VERY lazy captain too. In my honest opinion, they should just promote Izuru to Captain instead of giving the position to some stranger who we don't know we can trust. Plus it would make more sense than having two lieutenants at once. They couldn't decide which one of us was stronger, so they placed us both as lieutenants. Digressing from that though, I didn't know if I should trust Captain Kuro after the last two captains. The betrayal of Ichimaru was bad enough, but after Amagai, I'd had enough. I became weary of most captains except for Captain Yammamoto, Captain Unohana Captain Komomura, Captain Kuchiki, Captain Kyouraku, Captain Hitsugaya, Captain Zaraki, and Captain Ukitake. The rest of the captains were iffy with me, especially Kurotsuchi. I was snapped out of my thougs when I turned a corner and ran into someone, making me drop all of the papers I was carrying.

"Watch where you're going!" a voice yelled. I looked up and saw an irritated-looking Renji.

"Thanks for the courtesy Renji." I muttered sarcastically as I bent down and started picking up the scattered paperwork. His eyes widened when he realized it was me and not some lower-seat newbie.

"Sorry Joutei, need some help with that?" he asked apologetically.

"That would be very nice, thank you." I answered. He bent down and started picking up the papers with me.

"Kuro have you and Izuru working your asses off again?" he asked.

"Yeah. Only Izuru's off on some mission in the world of the living, so I'm stuck doing all of the work for our lazy ass captain." I answered.

"That sucks." he stated. I merely nodded. Renji and I had gotten close since the Aizen incident. He was severely injured, and I ended up in a coma for over a week. I was with Toushiro, helping him find Gin because of his suspicions against him. We were both angry when we found Momo, but surprisingly, I was conscious longer than he was. Then I was stupid and tried to fight them both. Man, was I in over my head. I got my ass kicked so bad, it wasn't funny. I'm persistent though, after they cut me down again, they accidentally took me to Sokyouku hill while I was bleeding out on the ground. Renji and Rukia were so pissed when they found it it was me laying there. I tried to stand up and Renji managed to get me away from the three traitorous bastards, but he got cut up pretty bad until Ichigo came along. e helped me stand and we all tried to fight Aizen. We lost miserably. Ichigo was healed within a wee, as was Renji, and I was in a coma for a week and a half.

"Oi, you awake over here?" Renji asked, snapping me out of my thoughts again.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking about a few things." I answered as I stood up with half the paperwork I dropped. He stood up and piled the other half on top of the ones I was already carrying.

"Don't think too hard, you never know what could happen." he said. I smirked evilly.

"Well, I have to think. I don't want to be a blithering idiot like you Renji." I joked.

"Hey!" he yelled, insulted. I snickered to myself. I think anyone can agree with me when I say Renji was fun and easy to irritate.

"Just go deliver your papers, shortie." he said smugly as he ruffled my hair and walked in the other direction. I felt a vein pulse on the side of my head.

"Damn it Renji I'm not SHORT!!!!" I yelled. I could have sworn I heard him laughing as he turned the corner. No matter, I'll kick his ass later. But first I need to get these papers delivered. It wasn't long before I walked into the squad ten barracks and into Toushiro's office.

"Hi Toushiro!" I greeted as I walked in and slammed the 20 pound pile of papers on his desk. He immediately had a couple veins pulsing on the side of his head.

"Joutei, how many times do I have to tell you it's Captain Hitsugaya?" he asked grumpily.

"Hell I don't know. You don't call me Lieutenant Usagi." I answered.

"First off, I'm a rank above you, second off, that would just be weird since you can't stand formalities." he stated.

"Exactly." I replied as I plopped down on the couch.

"Do you think you're on break or something?" he asked with irritation dripping in his voice.

"Hey, those stack of papers are taller than you, they were a pain in the ass to carry here." I retorted. I heard him sigh behind me. I'm surprised I got away with the whole papers being taller than him comment.

"Joutei! Hi!" a shrill voice yelled. I quickly stood up and threw my arms open.

"Hey Rangiku!" I exclaimed happily as she pulled me into a hug. Luckily fr me, I was tall enough to the point where I wouldn't suffocate, if you catch my drift.

"You look tired." Rangiku pointed out. "I am. Captain Kuro is working my ass off while Izuru's in the world of the living." I replied.

"I'm so glad I don't have a lazy captain." she said in relief.

"No, I just have a lazy lieutenant." Toushiro grumbled.

"Aw that was mean Captain!" she whined.

"I hate to say it Rangiku, but you're pretty damn lazy. I know I have to have someone pull my sorry ass out of bed in the morning, but you're pretty lazy." I stated.

"So cruel." she fake cried. I started laughing while Toushiro just rolled his eyes. Before anyone could say anything else, the alarms started going off.

"What the hell?" all of us asked at the same time.

"Why are the alarms going off?" I asked.

"I don't know, but we're going to find out." Toushiro answered.

"I need to get back to my squad, later." I called as I ran out of the door and was flash-stepping to my squad building. The alarms going off worried me. Had Aizen gotten in to the soul society? If not, what was going on? Either way, I knew this obviously wasn't going to be good.

"Captain Kuro!" I yelled as I approached my captain. He looked down at me, looking serious for once.

"Joutei, we have to go to an urgent meeting for captains and lieutenants immediately." he stated. That still didn't answer my question, much to my irritation. We arrived at the squad one building quickly. Everyone was arriving quickly, looking tense. Except for Kenpachi, who just looked bored to all hell and probably wanted to fight someone right now. Captain Yammamoto stepped in and everyone was silent to listen to this urgent announcement.

"There are once again ryoka in the soul society." he announced. He had to be kidding. The last time that happened, shit really hit the fan. I'm not saying I don't like Ichigo and the others, in fact I think they're a great help and good friends, but when they appeared, a LOT of bad things happened.

"Great, that means more fighting for me." Kenpachi said with a hungry smirk. No surprise there really.

"This time we know what the intruders are, unlike last time. We found this out by identifying a body. " Captain Yammamoto continued. Everyone listened intently, hoping that they were just human ryoka again. What are the chances of that ever happening again?

"They are arrancar that are very convincingly disguised as shinigami." he finished. There was angry and surprised chatter throughout the room now. Arrancar among us? This wasn't good. How the hell did Aizen pull that off?

"Don't worry, we can take care of it." Captain Kuro assured from behind me. I believed him, but we had no idea until there was a body. There are going to be many trust issues now. The meeting went on for another few minutes. Nothing big, just Captain Yammamoto telling us to be on our guard and whatnot. We all walked out of the building, distressed and angry. Or in Kenpachi's case, excited. Everyone else was just really pissed or anxious.

"Joutei!" Renji called as he ran up to me. I looked up at him o listen to what he had to say.

"Be careful." he warned with concern lacing throughout his voice.

"I will." I assured with a smile. He just stared at me with a serious look on his face.

"Alright. By the way, you ARE short." he said as he ran off. My eye twitched in annoyance as I walked back to my squad building and into my room, where I collapsed onto my bed. Great, the last thing this place needs is more chaos.

* * *

**Momo: Okay, I know this was boring, but please review! It will get better**


	3. Injured

**Momo: Alrighty, I must be boring people, or this story really REALLY sucks.... either way, I'll try again, enjoy!**

* * *

I woke up the next day to a bunch of yelling. It was beginning to irritate the hell out of me so I got up, threw my clothes on, and walk out to see what was wrong. Squad three was in a huge uproar and Kuro wasn't anywhere to be found. That man is never anywhere to be found when you need him. Getting annoyed with the constant yelling, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

"SHUT UP!!!!!!" I yelled loudly. The room became quiet and everyone faced me.

"Now, what the hell is going on?" I asked, still very annoyed.

"Lieutenant Usagi we're glad you're awake!" the third seat exclaimed.

"That's not answering my question. Did someone die or something?" I muttered.

"Almost, Lieutenant Kira was brought back from the world of the living with several wounds. He's barely breathing." one of the squad members said. My eyes widened. Izuru hurt? I couldn't believe it. Ignoring the many yells, I ran and shunpo'd as fast as I could to the squad four barracks. Hanatarou walked up to me with a sheepish look on his face.

"Is something wrong Lieutenant Usagi?" he asked quietly.

"First off, I told you to call me Joutei, remember? Second off, where's Izuru?" I asked.

"U-um he's down that way to the right." he answered. Immediately after he said so, I bolted to Izuru's room and threw the door open. Captain Kuro, Captain Unohana, Hisagi, and Renji were all standing there, either looking pissed off or solemn. I looked over at Izuru. He had cuts all over and he was extremely pale. It looked as if he could go any second, it was terrible.

"What happened!?" I asked.

"We don't know. He was the only one who survived whoever attacked them. He'll have to wake up before we know what happened." Captain Kuro answered. I clenched my fists. Izuru is my friend too.

"Come on Jou, lets get out of here and let Captain Unohana see if she can't wake him up." Renji whispered as he ushered me out of the room. Once we were out, I turned around and looked up at him.

"I'll bet you anything those damned arrancar did it." I muttered.

"I wouldn't be surprised." he replied.

"I don't understand. Izuru was just on a mission to go get some things from Urahara and maybe take out some hollows while he was at it. Yet, he was attacked by an arrancar when yesterday we just learned they were in the soul society somehow." I said. Renji stared at me as if he was going to question my logic, but then he looked as if he was deep in thought, thinking about what I said. Of course I could be wrong, it could have just been a coincidence that Izuru got injured by an arrancar, but I didn't think so. Izuru could handle an arrancar, but to have his whole team wiped out? There ain't no way.

"Joutei." a voice behind me stated as a hand was placed on my shoulder. I jumped and turned around to see Captain Kuro. Needless to say he didn't look very happy.

"Yes sir?" I asked.

"I need you to go to the world of the living to where Izuru was defeated and investigate, something doesn't seem right." he answered. Now I was really confused. How could anything seem right at all? I mean, he was probably damn near butchered by an espada or something. I didn't disobey him though, I nodded, and started to go get a hell butterfly. It wasn't very long before I returned and Captain Kuro and Renji were still standing there. They looked as if they were just having a conversation. It must not have been a very good one, because Renji looked very pale and Kuro looked solemn.

"What?" I asked.

"Before you go, I need to let you know something." Captain Kuro stated.

"And that is?" I asked.

"Izuru may have been hurt because of a soul reaper, not an arrancar." Renji finished. My eyes widened. Another traitor? That was the last thing the Seireitei needed. In the last year alone, we've been through so much hell, it was unbelievable. Too shocked to say anything, I only nodded and walked through the gates to the human world with the hell butterfly perched on my shoulder. When I arrived, I was in the woods and blood was splattered everywhere.

"Holy shit..." I gasped. To think someone could have been so merciless was unreal. I walked around, taking in every detail possible, looking for any sign of the enemy's weapon or anything. Something did catch my eye though, in a tree that was badly singed. "What the hell?" I muttered to myself as I walked up to the tree and observed it. Whatever was in it was colored very brightly. I reached my hand through the tree and grabbed the shiny object. The spiritual pressure was still faint on it, so I could know who it was. Only, I did know who it was. I dropped the object in shock and stared at it with my mouth almost on the forest floor in shock and my eyes about the size of a dinner plate.

"She couldn't have..." I whispered to myself. It was the spiritual pressure of a close friend of mine. I didn't want to think someone like her could be a murderer. I know she's having a tough time, but it was impossible.

"Hey!" a voice called, snapping me out of my thoughts. Acting on instinct, I unsheathed my sword and turned around to point it at whoever snuck up on me. I calmed down as I saw Toushiro and Rangiku behind me.

"Geez Joutei, you're scary sometimes." Rangiku stated.

"Sorry." I apologized.

"Is something wrong?" Toushiro asked. Damn him. He knew whenever I was upset. I guess that's what happens when your very good friends with him.

"Yeah." I answered as I bent down and picked up the shiny object that I had dropped only a minute ago. Toushiro and Rangiku just stared at it, not knowing what it meant. "Do you know who's spiritual pressure that is?" I asked gravely. As if on cue, Toushiro's face paled and Rangiku's jaw slowly dropped.

"But, she couldn't have." she mumbled.

"That's what I'm thinking, but her spiritual pressure IS on it." I replied sadly. Toushiro only stared at the ground and clenched his fists. I knew he would take this harder than anyone else.

"Captain, we need to show Captain Yammamoto." Rangiku whispered as she put her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to try to make him feel better. Of course, it wasn't working. Despite the inner conflicts he must have been facing, he nodded. As the gates opened for us to go back to the Seireitei, I heard him mutter something under his breath.

"Momo, please tell me you didn't do this."

* * *

**Momo (me): Yeah... please review!!!**


End file.
